In search of me

This is my first ever blog and guess the questions within me needs a place to surface and hence the need to blog or rather its a search which i have started to find who i am . few days back i met a very good friend of mine after a long time, the usual jokes and giggles cracked up when we met. suddenly she said "u have changed"  and i was dumbstruck and speechless for moments. then tried to put the thought aside for sometime,but just couldn take those three words out of my mind. " u have changed". well these words were eating me up .had no clue why this hurt so much. well to ease the commotion within me i spoke to one of my best friends and asked her, have i changed ..? well the answer came as a surprise and shock. "yes u have changed" and for a moment i felt weak. why does this hurt.   over the years everyone changes.its normal. nothing new. some people change every day. so why am i so hurt when people feel i have changed as a person. well i found the answer after a lot of tossing and turning and one entire sleepless night. i was not hurt cos my friends felt i have changed . i was hurt cos thats what i felt about most of my friends . that they have changed. though never have i complained to my friends.... would just pinpoint with occassional comments . but deep down i was hurt thinking they have changed as person. the frequencies of their calls had reduced. they had moved on in their lives . got married have kids. they have news things to do. new topics to talk about. and i was not very important part of their lives anymore. that hurt a lot. cos for me they still are . not that they dont care. but they dont have much time. so when the statment "u have changed " fell on my ears. i just couldn take it. cos i felt those were my words.for which only i have the rights to use. as if i almost have the patent over those words. but then when i asked myself have i changed .i couldn believe myself. when i realised that i have changed a lot from the person i used to be. now i dont know if changes have come cos people and situations around me have changed or the vice versa. well whatever be it. the self realisation has sort of brought some peace with in me. and i will always strive to change for better .accept things and people when they change. as the saying goes nothing is permanent except change. people i have changed too.